yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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