the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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