So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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