Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
