It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
