It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
