goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
