like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
