What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
