All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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