You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
