break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
