Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize