y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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