the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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