singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
