dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
