She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
