Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
