He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
