I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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