Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize