well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
