I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I want a musical about memes.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
