I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
