barbara walters just said penis...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
