LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The Olympian is in my bed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
