He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
