Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Boobs speak an international language.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
