we're blogging at a bar
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
