it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
