we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
