How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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