I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
