Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
