We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
