Apparently you make a good broom.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
