I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
