I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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