Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
