Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My friends, they love my intelligence
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
