went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
