took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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