U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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