My nipple is on Facebook.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
organizing the empties. That sober.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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