she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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