Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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