dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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