her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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