I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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