went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so let's talk penis.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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