I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
