My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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