im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
