A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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