Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
