He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
