next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
