Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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