He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I can't turn off my feet"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
