my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize